


if memory serves

by pondlocked



Category: Captain Marvel (2019), Captain Marvel (Marvel Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/F, i dont know what im doing, in which carol kisses maria, is this fluff??, who knows - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2020-01-31 10:06:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18589045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pondlocked/pseuds/pondlocked
Summary: Carol may had given Fury an intergalactic pager but Maria was the only person who she saw every time.





	if memory serves

**Author's Note:**

> So this has been written right after Captain Marvel but I didn't publish it till now and since Endgame is coming out tomorrow it's literally my last chance to put this without getting affected from Endgame, and forget about it.
> 
> This is not my native language so I apologize in advance for mistakes. I hope you enjoy it!

Maria clenched the damp dish towel on her chest and looked out from the kitchen window as Carol landed on her front yard. She was coming and going more frequently under the guise of finding the remaining Skrulls on Earth and getting them to safety.

She may had given Fury a intergalactic pager but Maria was the only person who she saw every time. There were still gaps in her memory but they were coming, slower than she had anticipated. Carol was frustrated as she flew, she felt like she was missing something pivotal, something important and yet whenever she tried to remember that memory it always slipped, like soap, from her mind.

She softly landed on the dirt road and waved a hand at Maria without letting her actually see her frustration. Maria smiled as she dropped the towel on the counter and went for the door and hugged Carol. She pressed the other woman to herself, still wrapping her mind around the fact that Carol was actually alive after the last six years when all her grief and pain was still there like it was still the same day of the accident. It was less believable than her photon blasters.

“Monica will be so sad to be on a sleepover when I say you dropped by.” she chided.

Carol let a small chuckle as Maria let her in the house and draped herself to the chair in the kitchen. She sighed with relief, a sense of _home_ and slouched her shoulders as Maria went on the dishes again.

Minutes passed in a comfortable silence but music from the radio filled the air between them, Carol didn’t feel the need of cracking a joke or making a quip. After the dishes Maria pulled a liquor bottle from the cabinet and pointed the glasses to Carol.

“What’s the matter, you have that face again.” Maria asked as she filled the glasses with the amber liquid. Carol squinted her eyes and looked at Maria “Everybody has a face.” she said nonchalantly.

“Wise ass. What’s wrong?”

Maria finished her first glass and let her chin rest on her palm as she waited for Carol to answer. She rolled her eyes at her silence “You are not here for Skrull business, you are civilian,” she gestured Carol’s brown leather jacket and worn out jeans, “and I’ve known you since we are cadets. Spill it, Danvers.”

Carol took a swig from her glass and sighed “I feel like I’m missing something. Something important.”

“Like what?” Maria asked while filling their glasses for one more round.

“Personal things. They are coming slower than I expected.” Carol slumped, frustrated at her defeat. Maria saw the only other woman cadet in the flight school all over again instead the space hero who can blast her way through with her bare hands and marveled at her chance and the universe once again.

“You can always ask these things to us, I’m sure Monica would be pleased to inform you on what you wore on Halloweens or the presents you bought her.” she grabbed Carol’s hand and tried to lighten her.

“What about you?”

“What about me?” Maria cleared her throat as she straightened her back and finished her drink once again.

Carol pushed her empty glass on the table and sighed. “You know I’m remembering all sorts of unnecessary things” she shook her head. “Do you remember that dick from the bar who was like _You know why they call that a cockpit_ , god.” she mocked a vomit with the phantom of the memory and watched Maria as she laughed at the joke and felt a pride over it, “and yet I don’t remember why I always come back here.”

The silence that followed was not like the one before. It wasn’t comfortable but heavy with anticipation and the music kept flowing between them. Maria got up from the table and cleared the glasses as Carol followed her, her frustration climbing higher and higher inside her.

“What aren’t you telling me, Maria?” she huffed and pinned her against the kitchen sink without thinking, “What am I missing?” she asked as she pressed herself absentmindedly to Maria.

Maria looked at the space or lack thereof between them and threw a meaningful look at her as if she was challenging her to _“What do you think?”_ All color drained from Carol’s face as she realized things, not remembering but _realizing_. She took a step back and exhaled. Blushing, she felt the blue heat rising through her cheeks and turned her back to Maria. _“I never really felt like I can turn my back on people on Hela.”_ the thought crossed her mind like a breeze.

Her breath elevated, she turned to Maria with puzzlement on her face and took half a step towards her once again. Maria was still leaning on the kitchen sink, straightened her back and met with Carol’s eyes. “We were family.”

“Look Carol, I don’t expect fro-” she began but Carol interrupted her.

“May I try something?” she closed the small distance with them suggestively and boldly.

Maria inhaled a shaky breath without daring to hope, thanked the God for sending Monica away from home to a sleepover and nodded. Carol leaned in and closed the last small space between them. In an instant her muscle memory kicked in and she knew where to put her hands on Maria, as her hands actually fitted every nook and curve on Maria’s body. Her hand went through Maria’s short, black hair with such an easy motion. The familiarity of her lips and the absence of the actual memory was almost too much. Her heart pounding, Maria welcomed Carol while praying her to remember them.

_To remember her._

The breeze from the open kitchen window filled the room with all things summery, as Carol broke the kiss without deepening it. She was confused and somehow hurt. She didn’t want to believe that Maria was keeping this huge part of her secret.

“So, _family_ family.” she murmured, stripped from her usual wit and jokes. She was too dumbfounded for that now. Maria nodded her head and turned her back at Carol while wiping her lips.

“Look Carol,” she sighed and tried to explain herself ,“I don’t want you to feel obliged to anything, to me.” she grabbed Carol’s hand and guided it towards her heart. “I’ve been through all the stages of grief, believe me. I’ve been in denial, I was angry, I bargained, I was depressed... But for Monica’s sake I accepted your death at the time. And I came through it.”

“No one’s more happy to see you alive than I am.” she continued while nervously playing with her fingers, “but I got over you, it was hard but I did it. Yes, we were family. We still are.”

Carol felt the tears prickling her eyes, without her memories backing her up, she didn’t comprehend the gravity of Maria’s loss and cursed the Kree again. “But you have different priorities now and that’s okay. We will be okay.” Maria pulled Carol into a hug. A fierce one like the one she first came from the dead, from goddamn space.

“This is too much to take in all at once.” Carol sniffed and buried her head on Maria’s shoulder, “and I don’t even remember what was that like. I have the sensations, there are like ghosts of my memories. Similar but not quite, only the emotions.” she stuttered, panicking.

Maria held Carol close like always while caressing her back and told her it was okay, she was okay, she was alive and that mattered as Carol pulled herself back together while wiping her eyes.She took a step back and the empty space hit her like a blast. Maria leaned on the sink again, trying to compose herself, she threw a tired and broken smile.

“I will be back.” Carol promised, “and I’ll remember everything when I’m back.” she dared to give another small kiss to Maria, her heart fluttering. Caught off balance, Maria chuckled and watched Carol blast off from her kitchen window.


End file.
